today i feel off.
like i’m suspended in the middle of two spaces.
and i am torn between these two spaces yet am feeling no push toward one or the other.
and while my slow breathing + sleepy eyes tell me that my body has declared itself to be in a state of do nothingness, my mind + my lists tell me otherwise.
yet i cannot seem to push past the physical urge to stay buried in my blankets with the afternoon sun glow warmly lighting the bland walls of this place.
giving in, for a moment, i lose myself in the world of the Beginners. only to find, an hour or two later, to be back in the same place i was earlier.
wanting to move forward, but lacking the drive, with my body’s dissonance certainly not helping matters.
and my mind is oscillating and i cannot seem to make it stop. the big picture grows bright. with the time to come beckoning. fresh, new perspectives to liven up the place. only to spiral + shrink to the mundane, small frame of right now. before once again flitting off into the forthcoming.
this in between space, this suspension,
this plateau before the ascension
is a strange place.
yet, i am no stranger to it.
and while before it would have me whisked me up into winds of worry + doubt, anxiety + sadness,
today is different.
today it is welcomed as a familiar face, embraced in all its incongruous glory. and sent away with a smile.
for i know now that this is merely a part of life. a single moment in thousands.
for i know too that as quickly as it came : it will be gone.
because this bridge, on which i stand today, with sides that stretch for miles unending, straddling all that seems to matter
will be the small puddle i jump across tomorrow,
without a second thought.